And a heart beat

Wish I could,

The gatherings haunt me.

These trees sing songs,

Thoughts that make me fear,

Fear that makes a heart beat!

Wish that I could,

Stop a feeling that grows,

This trust rings bells,

Bells that I wished to hear,

A feeling and s heart beat.

Why, but i drink,

The truth but it stays,

The truth it always is,

And that makes me afraid,

For love and a heart beat !

drunk

A dizzy feeling.

A drunken feeling,

I am not , I never was,

But I feel , but I sing,

When i never heard the song that was before.

A lonely feeling,

A drunken feeling,

You never said, I was never,

But I felt and yet I sing,

That song , which I always felt and I wonder.

You went away,

And you never were,

I never told, I never wept.

But we are away , and I sing,

That song, I never sang that was always before.

Walking dreamy eyed...

(This post is in continuation to Sunset at rum point and I chose what I am to be)

I have been walking dreamy eyed in the quiet desolation of isolated shores.Why I ask myself? Does the mist speak of something? Why does it speak so soft? The sun is hidden. The moist sands tug at my feet and yet I walk. It would be nice to lie down. To stop searching and retire to a quiet living. So peaceful it would be. But yet I search.

The beauty of solitude.

Ah when did any one ever describe.

The destitution of the hermit,

Why do these winds not heed !!

So they say solitude has its beauty.Why then do we run? Why do the dark paths lead us into retirement? Ever does man run away into coves of comfort; afraid to face the paths alone.Beauty lay in those paths. But we of the craven hearts, balk of it. Incomprehensible beauty is frightening. More so when the end presents itself not.We stop and proceed not. But beauty has its ways The longer you are on the road ,the more you see; the path stretches yet more.What is beauty, if it can be compiled in word, written down in songs , etched down in memories. True beauty lay in the paths. The longer you go , the closer you are. But never there !

The days we tell ourselves we are there, we see naught but an illusion. The mirage of beauty attained.A lie. For this road never ends. For the joy of beauty lay not in comprehension. The bliss of beauty, lay not in atonement and fear. Unfathomable beauty never ends and so does its pursuit.Though we lie in mouldy graves and time wash over us, but in those paths where we walk, the shades of beauty ever lies with us within.

Let these mists close. Let these paths unfold. Let this sun rise and set. These winds , may they houl. Let those gods you hold dear, turn deaf. O how the world may laugh. The beauty, but eludes. It beckons; but those that stand true.

I crave not to be wise; for when did wise ever walk in paths of the destitute. I strive not to be loved , for the loved make houses. I strive not to be hated; for they the people are always around. May this path ever lead on. May this wayfarer never stop.

Amen.

To You

Lekhiba lagi chanhe na chanhe ....

kichi kahi kichi rahi jai....

Tate kichi kahibaku chanhe...

kana kahibi....

Seithi hi katha rahi jai....

Kichi katha nahin,

Na mu acchi......

NA tu..

To saange mu...

Tu nahun mu kauthi ...

Bahut bada bada ei duniya...

chhota chhota kichi katha...

janini kemiti kana kahibi

..kahe na kahe...

Mu acchi...

Au kana kahibi...

Ghosts

Too far do these star lie

Far for me to feel the depth;

Walls I can climb ,but love,

How can one mar this death!

These winds do of a tale sing

of those nights,myriad dreams;

Nights I may belie my love,

Memories do wear ,it seems !

Pebbles do these waves wash,

the rocks yet stand still;

marks we made,my love,

But marks even do waves heal!

Faith may lose;hope stands

but with a silent will;

I have closed my eyes,love,

Seems the ghosts stand still !

Straying away

Contemplation is a sin.It brings up questions that take you nowhere.

Oblivion for a change would be bliss.You soak in a state of thoughtlessness.The worries of existence were never farther.Those inhibitions are shed.Them , the layers and facades cease from their deceiving existence.How you wish everybody would see you then !How you wish to be loved!There the long lost smile returns.

You return to being the same child.There you start appreciating the fact that everybody around you was in fact made for you.Then you know that you are the one that the universe revolves around.Remembrance flows.Those smells , those flowers and those memories flood back.

You know the child you missed all these years lay dormant within.It was just that you built walls such high that the child within cant scale them.Let him through.You will see the child appreciates a lot more than you do.So very childish these thoughts are.

Again wasn't it me who said contemplation is a sin, you can ill afford.Go back to your existence.

One night at hustler's Part 1

I concede I feel tongue tied with the irrational female species of humanity, but vocal infirmity is a new low I may have to contend for myself.Here we are acting normal in a not so normal place.The heights of ineptitude is trying to look not like a person who frequents this place.In the due course I was proven to be a Hustler virgin due to being normal.Huh that's a nice epithet to get from a girl who seems to take joy in my condition.She didn't give me moments of respite throughout is needless to say.


Okay here I am with my JD and ice, acting non-wide eyed with the girl gradually undressing at the pole.How normal ! Acting interested in the folk who goggle wide eyed would label me something unwarranted.So I am forced to gaze on screen.'Your friend seems quiet',drifts into my aural sense.Thank goodness I can listen!Too happy with the achievement I miss the rest of the conversation. That smile puts me back to my peg and ahem my place.Hello give me some more time.Time I mean without you on my knees with a most comforting view.Easy tiger!(Tiger huh ..what an inspiring name)


She drifts off and I find that I can breathe too.After so scintillating a encounter, other scantily clad , well versed specimens come parading.I am at my devastating best.Crude and brunt replies are what I pride myself in.So the first wave subsides.But relentlessness is something we need to learn from our better halves.The next wave makes me wonder.Here comes the alter of Socrates.The artificiality makes me sick.The fake lines.The praise of grisly creatures.But hello Socrates , if you wanted a fair conversation why not try out a normal place.I feel enlightened.Buddha must have felt the same; on an entirely different plane though.

So I have decided to take the plunge.My arch nemesis is back.This time talking buisness.For heaven sakes damn you girl.Don't you realise with your clothes you make me so uncomfortable ! I decide that talking with eyes would be the safest option.I nod my head.Anyways I was pretty unsure of my vocal chords responding to my distressed call.I choose another girl.Did I choose or went with the flow.Heh that is for you to decide!
Hand in hand or should I say cheek on cheek i march to the temple of insanity or should I say ....
To be continued.....