A peck of love

Silence speaks in words we never can,
For the message that is sea borne,
Has a will that is not its own.
Words does the universe witness,
Does a loving heart heed it though?
Lives have been and days will be,
Stories made and in time undone,
Promises made and in time ravaged,
What are we but pebbles in the grind,
A peck of love, a whisper in the wind.

Three lines to heaven

This day I cross the rain washed bridge,
I feel not the stream that flows beneath.

This day I pass the burned brick house,
I feel not the fire that burns within.

This day I row with lost broken paddles,
I feel not the ripples in my dream.

That day.......

The hills have a silent will,
These winds will not let me be,
Walls I see but would they fall,
How can the blind find a way.

A will is a way , they say,
But these paths do not lead,
Nor do hedges, wills heed;
Oft the heart finds a way.

With winds may minds sway,
Smiles glisten the eyes grey,
Some tales are better lost,
Some lives better this way.

On providence

Thoughts I have had, past and clear,
Blunders done ,scars I now bear,
Leaves have fallen, riding the fall,
Hating the dreams, heeding the call.
How I wish, you could see me now,
Walking the dreams, feeling the droll.
Someone wake me, please ask me now.
Procrastination,darkness was my call.
Listening to reason, failing to heed,
Blind to the signs, doubt to breed,
Searching, craving for what was mine,
Behind closed walls, the mist and wine.
How I wish,we were never apart,
Without the dark, love in the heart,
Oh I have but a life to remember,
A lonely grave and a life to depart.

Some of those

Some of these days, I will not be around,

skulking around the day,nights will come to pass,

feeding the vines,that throttle in the deeps of my heart,

Some of these nights, I will not be around.

Staring up the blues,the days will come to pass,

Some of these flowers will adorn the blight,

Walkin up the stairs, some doors will let me pass,

Some among the fields would streak in rays of light.

Some of these days, the sun will come around,

Rising above the dead, the tears would come to dry,

Slipping in her gait, with a kiss and a sigh,

Some of those moments, she will one day be around.

Facades

Of what strings are facades made,

Woven true of feelings within,

Driven deep of words not said,

In strength are such facades made.

Of what drives is a man made,

In denial lies the beneath,

In my facade does it lie,

Fears and feelings I sheath.

Of what strength lay in her,

When were such words framed,

For why were trees made to shade,

Of her were facades made!

Of what makes the lies hide,

What truth lay in the shade,

Some things were never meant,

Some things to lose in the facade.

Some say , of evil is it wrought,

For deceit comes the facade,

Within graves do secrets lie,

Of love are such wreaths made.

I chose what I am to be.

This post is in continuation to Sunset at rum point
Change is strange phenomenon.The more you resist it,the harder it is to contain.

Today I am with the sands again,alone.I sit alone with the sun going down, wondering what the next day will bring. No I am not thinking of the sunsets.With the sunsets I sit alone.The fear of a thing lasts till chance brings it to your door. Today I am afraid of the sunrise. Another new day, another sunrise for a day I can forget.Another day that has no meaning, no colors , no fragrance , no beauty. Today I sit alone with the sunset. The winds bring me the familiar musty touch. But no hair blows unto my face.

I hold unto the sands , afraid to let go of each grain. Each grain that has the indelible touch. I miss the shallow impression on the sands where she stood. I miss looking at the sun, unafraid.

I look back and I laugh, a hollow mirthless one. I laugh at the sun. I laugh at my fears.What am I afraid of?Tomorrow will be another day to live .A day I may forget coming here .A day when I may not want to spend the rest of my sunsets with anyone. But something says the lesser I come here, the harder will the scents get. Harder it will be to defy the sun. The day I stop will be the day I stop to live. I will be among those that jog across the face of the ocean and stop not to challenge the setting sun.

But I am afraid. Afraid of facing the sun alone. I am afraid of the concept of the next day. This turn I am alone. And then I realize, I have no fear of losing it tomorrow.Yes, I will come. I will miss the smell of her around me. I will miss the way the winds scattered her sandy hair all over my face. I will miss the way the sun hid behind her beautiful face. But the sun will go down and will rise tomorrow. I will live. I will face the sun and though I stand alone I will.I will not be afraid.

This day is another day. Tomorrow will end some day. No, I live not to be with her. But every evening, when I come back, I will close my eyes. And I will laugh at the setting sun. Does it have a choice? It does not! But I have. I love her. She whose scent hangs thin. But I will close my eyes and mourn her.The morning may come after the night. But the moment I close my eyes I realize I still breathe. I still love. I still live.

I am what I am, because today; I chose what I am to be.

Sunset at rum point

You are sitting on the beach with that sun setting. You remember all the good songs being written about sunsets. Then you look at your side and there she is. Your heart skips a beat. And you realise this is where u want to be the rest of your life. In those wee hours, just before the sun tilts over, you imagine this is it. 

” This is the life I like and the girl I love. Why should I be somewhere else doing something else, dragging my life along doing something that I hate?"

What is so special about the sunset? Is it something to do with the person sitting with you? The silence seems so soothing. For once you want to sit and feel the sound of waves, hitting the sandy floor at your wet feet. The salty breeze that blows her hair, on to your face. The sand that has inexplicably clung to the most impossible parts of you. Her perfume that smells so close.  And the sun shines unto your eyes, for that last time. For once, you don’t mind looking at the sun. It is as an open challenge. 

“For once, I can challenge anyone to lessen that thump in my heart."

You love the company, the sun , the fragrance and the way waves crash in rhythm, with your heart. In silence lies such power. The exchange between silent hearts, which no sentient being hears. You wonder why you weren't there the last evening. You wonder why all the evenings. You wonder about the next evening. Instead of getting lost in the moment, you think about moments that you can’t be with her. 

The joy lessens and a mild throbbing pain sets in. In place of a thumping heart there grows a nagging fear of sitting apart. “Can’t we be together forever?” But you stay silent. You are afraid of asking, of tempting fate, of jinxing the setting sun. Afraid not of an impending doom or the apprehension of the wrong foot, but of something else. Something more subtle. Instead of being afraid of the mundane things, you are afraid of what comes next. 

Will the next sunset be as sylvan? Will the salty breeze still blow her hair unto your face? Would the twilight remain or will you, by the force of nature, be sitting alone on the beach. Brooding upon a sun that has already set on the western horizon (Which by the way you haven’t noticed right then.)?

And i still cannot say....For you will not answer. But should I ask...I do not know!

To live

A feeling i hear, softly whispered
With words none respond.
As the air grows cold, people walk,
On lanes and run!
The sweet smell still lingers,
In memories,  i will someday forget.
And darkness still stays in
The hand that reaches out.
Afraid i look back,
Among days to search for somethings.
Then again i say,
I wish i knew.
Confused i go on,
Where the waves drown the heart,
And i am back again,
To suffer and live.